Dale Hinshaw first noticed the advertisement for Trump Mobile in a late-night television commercial, was enamored with the limited-edition golden phone, and ordered one right then and there. Four hundred and ninety-nine dollars, money he didn’t have, but the downpayment was only a hundred dollars, so he phoned the telephone number and reserved one while he could, hoping Donald Trump would noticed his devotion and appoint him to the White House Faith Office where he could labor in the Lord’s vineyards, get prayer back in school, and make people accept Jesus whether they wanted to or not.