I got the notice this week that my high school graduating class is planning our 45th year reunion, which I was looking forward to, but now aren’t, due to the confirmed presence of a narcissistic man who spent our twelve years together bullying our most vulnerable classmates, and has continued to do so, except now he does it on Facebook. I took an online test this week to see when I would die and according to the test, I only have 11 years and 240 days left to live and don’t want to spend even a minute of it with this man. I don’t wish him ill. I don’t wish anyone ill, but I have learned that Christian charity doesn’t require me to pretend their cruelty is something I should overlook.
So this man, when we were kids, had an unerring knack for identifying and zeroing in on the most vulnerable among us, those kids who had no way of protecting themselves, the socially awkward and poor, and made their lives a living hell. If you were popular or came from a wealthy family, he wanted to be your best friend, but if you weren’t, you became his target. On top of that, he’s very religious and nationalistic, so when he treats other poorly, he justifies it by quoting the Bible or superimposing his comments over an image of the American flag, as if all good Americans should agree with him.
We’ve spent the past two months, surveying our Quaker history, noting those practices of early Friends that left us scratching our heads, wondering what in the world they were thinking. We would be remiss not to also identify those practices the early Friends got right. We’ll be calling this series Things We Got Just Right.
One of the things we got right was our contempt of privilege. In a socially stratified culture, when so many people had a kind word for the rich and a hard word for the poor, early Friends refused to tip the hat, rejecting the flattery of honorifics, titles, and privilege.
Long before modern-day Friends began paying attention to our pronouns, long before we respected the right of people to tell us the gender they believed themselves to be, even if we didn’t understand it, because we knew the first human right is the right to define who we are. Long before any of that, Quakers used pronouns to express their belief in human equality. Those higher in rank were addressed as you while those lower in rank were addressed as thee. Quakers rejected those social distinctions, believing the king’s servant was entitled to the same respect as the king, so called everyone thee. This, as you might imagine, pleased the servant while infuriating the king, just one of the reasons early Friends suffered persecution.
We believed someone’s worth and value did not derive from their social status, did not derive from their station at birth or their personal accomplishments or their wealth, but rather someone’s worth and value derived from the Light of God within them, no more or less than in anyone else.
A little linguistic trivia, in case you’re ever on Jeopardy: While the you/thee distinction is no longer present in the English language, variations of it remain in others languages, most notably Spanish, where the word tu is used when talking informally with your social peers, and the word usted, used in more formal settings.
Long before we developed a dress code reflecting our commitment to simplicity, long before we developed a system of worship reflecting our commitment to the priesthood of all believers, long before any of those things, we developed a language reflecting our commitment to human equality. We rejected the use of titles. No Sir this or Madam that. No Your Honor this or Your Excellency that. We addressed all people, no matter their rank or status, by their first names, and never by their rank or title. Even Quaker children were instructed to address their elders by their first names.
If you’re new to Quakerism and wonder why I’m not called Pastor Phil or Reverend Gulley, that is why. Because titles have a way of conveying and bestowing privilege, and we don’t want a privileged class within Quakerism.
There are two ways to create equality. We can put down those who are at the top of society, or we can raise up those who are at the bottom. Actually, there is a third way, and I think this is at the heart of Quakerism, we can treat each person with the same measure of dignity and respect, we can endeavor to see the Divine Light in each person, which is truly the tide that allows all boats to float side by side.
We must be conscious of how easily we are enchanted by those with wealth and fame, how naturally we accommodate them, while distancing ourselves, and even condemning those of low estate. That is especially crucial now, in this Second American Gilded Age, where those with wealth and fame play an oversized role in our culture and communities. Whenever that happens, we carve up the globe, placing some nations at the top, and others at the bottom. We even have a new word for those countries—shithole countries. Remember what we said about the power of words and our habit of using kind words for the rich and hard words for the poor?
Do you doubt for a moment that if the Swiss and Swedes and Norwegians were flooding across our borders, we would not be calling it an invasion or a border crisis, but would instead ask the Welcome Wagon to set up booths every half mile along our border, manned by suburban women with cakes and pies, discount coupons to local businesses, and school information for the kiddos.
I try always to treat everyone I meet with kindness, to extend compassion to all people. But I cannot abide those who mistreat the most vulnerable among us, nor can I abide the silence and indifference that often accompanies such maltreatment.
As Friends, our goal is a world in which all are valued, all are respected, all are invited, to sit God’s Great Banquet, to take their place not beneath us nor below us, but beside us, as friends.
JOIN PHILIP FOR SUNDAY WORSHIP
You're invited to join Philip and Fairfield Friends Meeting online for our worship services (Sundays 10:30-11:30 a.m. EDT) via Zoom.
Join Zoom Meeting
https://us02web.zoom.us/j/83152822906?pwd=UDkzR3NPNlB5N29QY0svelRkNkUwdz09.
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Philip is currently scheduling 2024-2025 live events. Don't see an event in your area? Invite Philip to speak to your church, group or organization by contacting him at speechinfo@philipgulley.com
Philip is additionally offering his speaking services for your virtual events. If you are holding church services, conferences and meetings online through video conferencing software, such as Zoom, and would like to invite Philip to speak, please reach us at speechinfo@philipgulley.com for details. Since travel is not involved, Philip's speaking fee will be considerably reduced.
UPCOMING EVENTS
6/24/24 7:00 PM - Marquette Senior Living, Indianapolis IN
Humorous Stories From Harmony.
THIS EVENT IS NOT OPEN TO THE PUBLIC.
Lighter Side
Read Philip's latest column in THE SATURDAY EVENING POST
Unlearning God: How Unbelieving Helped Me Believe
America's favorite Quaker storyteller explores the terrain of faith and doubt as shaped by family, church, and young love, finding his way to a less convenient but fully formed adult spirituality.
THE THIRD BOOK IN THE HOPE SERIES
A Gathering in Hope. Thanks to an unexpected windfall, Sam Gardner's congregation (with the exception of a few malcontents) is eager to expand their meetinghouse. But before building can commence, the County Environmental Board and the Department of Natural Resources put the quietus on the plan. A colony of endangered Indiana bats have made the tree beside the meetinghouse, and the meetinghouse attic, their place of hanging, mating, and living, which poses a big problem for the congregation. Aside from the fact that their fanged visitors are engaging in sinful acts on church property, until these bats leave for hibernation, Hope Friends Meeting is left without a gathering place. And when an over-zealous Leonard Fink takes matters into his own hands, he may even land himself--and Sam--in jail.
THE SECOND BOOK IN THE HOPE SERIES
A Lesson in Hope. Sam has been pastor of Hope Friends Meeting for four months when a ninety-eight-year-old member, Olive Charles, passes away and leaves her entire estate worth almost one million dollars to the meeting. It's not long before this unexpected windfall creates a storm of conflicting opinions amongst members of Sam's church as to how the money should be used. And to make matters worse, Olive's niece Regina threatens the church with a lawsuit over what she deems her rightful share. Sam soon finds himself in over his head, trying to successfully deal with Regina's negotiations and lead his congregation to a decision.
THE FIRST BOOK IN THE HOPE SERIES
A Place Called Hope. Fans of the critically acclaimed Harmony series will delight in the return of its central character, Sam Gardner, in this new series by Gulley. When Quaker Pastor Sam Gardner is asked by the ill Unitarian minister to oversee a wedding in his place, Sam naturally agrees. It's not until the couple stands before him that he realizes they're two women. In the tempest of strong opinions and misunderstandings that follow the incident, Sam faces potential unemployment. Deeply discouraged, he wonders if his pastoral usefulness has come to an end. Perhaps it's time for a change. After all, his wife has found a new job at the library, his elder son is off to college, and the younger has decided to join the military once he graduates high school. Sam is contemplating a future selling used cars when he receives a call from a woman in the suburban town of Hope, Indiana. It seems Hope Friends Meeting is in desperate need of a pastor. Though they only have twelve members, they also have a beautiful meetinghouse and a pie committee (Sam is fond of pie). But can he really leave his beloved hometown of Harmony?
Our worth is based on the Light of God within us-how wonderful! I’m grateful you will not waste time with the bully from school-time is too precious! Thank you so much for this writing!!